During the holidays, I refocused my energy and filled my creative tank. Now that January has hit with gusto, I’ve felt compelled to pause again to re-evaluate priorities for the coming year. Since I became immersed in that process over the weekend, I wanted to share in hopes of sparking insights to help you get your writing project done this year.

The first part of this article relates to thought processes before embarking on a project, and the second part relates to finishing the project.

PART ONE – CONSIDERATIONS AT THE START

My first question for you is: What do you want to get done this year?

I hope your goal is big enough to be worthy of your precious attention.

My co-author on Creative Insecurity, James M. Sweeney taught me an important lesson while we worked together. He says that a big idea and a small idea take the same amount of time, which it is a mistake to think too small. Pick a goal that will have maximum impact. Jim Sweeney discusses this idea in this short video entitled, “How big is the problem you are trying to solve?“

For the record, any life story writing project, genealogy goal, oral history, or family story is worthwhile no matter how big or small.

Consider what won’t get done

Once you’ve identified a project or goal worthy of your efforts, clear the deck of other commitments. My January is starting by undertaking one of the hardest but most important actions I might complete all year. Namely, I am doing the hard mental work of deciding priorities to take off my plate so I can double down on the big goals. 

In short, am making a “stop-doing list.”

My eyes are always bigger than my stomach; I want everything to get done. But wisdom implores me to be careful before letting anything become a “yes.” There will always be a degree of juggling in various aspects of life, but the less the better.

Moreover, the best time to identify a dead end is at the beginning. I remind myself that it is even better to cross off a task before starting it than it would be to finish it. Each project crossed off before it began required zero effort to get there.

Grapple with hard questions

Because it is so important to narrow the focus, I spent a chunk of time last weekend journaling and pondering my priorities. It felt like dawdling because I could have spent that time cranking out tasks. My process was meandering and messy. On Friday, I went down one path, fully exploring what it might look like, only to reverse course and flesh out another possibility on Saturday. 

From experience, I’ve learned to accept that my process can sometimes take weeks to revisit ideas and consider tradeoffs. It can involve bouncing thoughts off one or two trusted advisors, praying, and meditating. I call this phase “grappling.”

Sometimes grappling involves doing some research or running small experiments before fully committing to any path. It’s important to do enough due diligence to not fall in love with an idea. Love makes us all a little dumb, whether that love is for a person or an idea. Be as clear-eyed as possible during the exploration phase. “Don’t marry a mistake,” is another mantra of my co-author James Sweeney.

Another critical consideration upfront is whether I realistically have the resources to finish. Don’t start and then run out of time or money before the end.

Related video: How do you make hard decisions? 

Listen to your inner knowing

I trust the grappling process because I have learned that when I do the mental work, there will always be a moment of clarity. Often, an answer comes out of the blue after letting the question rest. I’ll be on a walk, fishing on a lake, or doing the dishes. Then, at once, I will know which way I should go. I will just know.

Take the next teeny-tiny step

Once I sense that knowing, my next step is to sleep on it. In the light of day, and as soon as possible, it’s critical to take the next teeny-tiny step. Maybe that next action is to run an experiment or to float a proposal.

Magic happens at this phase.

I usually find that if my instincts are correct, the path illuminates in front of me. An example is when my husband and I purchased our 1890 Victorian. We had tried to buy it years earlier, but the timing and circumstances were not right. We encountered obstacles at every turn. We were not ready for myriad reasons.

But the next time around, the stars aligned and we had keys less than three weeks from when we made the offer. The pieces fell into place quicker and easier than I ever thought possible.

That was a marked contrast to the first time around. The second time, it felt like we were part of something bigger than ourselves, something that mattered more than just owning a particular house. It turned out to be prescient. Living there changed our lives in profound ways and opened doors that would never have been possible without living there.

PART TWO: GETTING IT DONE

Stay the course and remember the answer 

Once you begin and feel the initial thrill, it doesn’t mean the path will be easy—far from it. Part of accomplishing any ambitious goal is staying the course and focusing on the goal with maniacal conviction.

This is the phase when it’s critical to activate the “no-quit gene” (an idea we discuss at length in Creative Insecurity). Along the way, it will get hard. There will be boredom, doubts, exhaustion, and new shiny new objects. The allure of starting an exciting new adventure can be intoxicating compared to slogging through the hard parts of a current project.

Related article – Overcoming my fear of publishing: https://evalogue.life/fear-of-publishing/

When you get discouraged or others pick apart your work, refer to this sage advice on responding to criticism: https://youtu.be/Fs2KIrKnZPI?si=VJ1SILqfJxJwZ0sY

Learn different skills for each phase of a life story project: 

Mix up your approach when you reach a new phase in your writing project. Recognize that what worked in the first phase, for example writing a terrible first draft, is the wrong mindset for fine-tuning your edits later. 

Here are a few techniques for your writing project tool kit: 

Advice for the middle: 

  • Author Gary Keller, who wrote The One Thing, recommends accepting some chaos in other areas of your life. It’s good advice. 
  • Get support. Take a class. Get coaching. Join a writing group. 
  • Make it as fun and motivating as possible. For example, I keep a log of word count each day when I’m cranking out a first draft.
  • Establish modest habits that become automatic (think Atomic Habits). 
  • Regroup when necessary, and recommit as many times as it takes.
  • Nurture your creativity along the way. Include sufficient rest, nature, and the arts. Consume and create art just for fun. 
  • Cultivate the “no-quit gene,” in yourself. Never give up on your dreams. 
  • Don’t let fear or imposter syndrome unhinge you. Instead, lean into insecurity. Reframe nervousness into excitement. Explore risks and mitigate them. Turn your worries into preparation. 

Related article: The only way out is through: https://evalogue.life/the-only-way-out-is-through/

Recommit to get your writing project done

We all inevitably stumble and lose steam. The key is acknowledging what happened, recommitting, and starting fresh as many times as it takes. I have a formula for restoring broken commitments in this article on overcoming procrastination and resistance: https://evalogue.life/procrastination/

Remember your why

I believe that writing your personal and family narratives is one of the most important projects you could possibly undertake. Stories bring people together, pass on your values, and connect generations. Remember who you are writing for, and what you most hope to give as an act of service.

I also believe that when you tell your story, it changes the ending. It will change you and will change your family for the better. It may inspire people who have not been born yet on a day when they need an answer. Your work is a love letter to the future. May you be blessed in your labor and through the result.

Related article: story endings

Rhonda Lauritzen standing with hands on hips in front of a weathered brick background

Rhonda Lauritzen is a professional biographer with multiple published books and a regular speaker at conferences. She has an MBA from the University of Utah and served as CEO of her family business, working alongside six brothers. Her writing journey began with her parents’ family business saga, and in 2016, she founded Evalogue.Life. Since then, Rhonda has professionally told the stories of families, cities, and nonprofits. She believes that when you tell your story, it changes the ending. Her latest co-authored book is distributed by Simon & Schuster December 10, 2024: Creative Insecurity: Lean Into the Unknown and Unleash Your Inner Misfit. Another recent book is A Child in Berlin, traditionally published by Post Hill Press.