What’s your favorite family recipe and why? What food takes you home? This is just one example of many family interview questions that stick.
Rocky Road fudge. When Steve Rockwood, CEO of FamilySearch thinks of this treat, he can almost taste home. When he was in a faraway land on his LDS Mission a few decades ago – he dreamed of the stuff, especially at Christmas. That’s why when his mother sent it to him with love, but it didn’t arrive until two months after Christmas, he picked the mold off and ate in anyway – best rocky road fudge he ever ate. The recipe was a family favorite – passed down from his grandma to his mother and now it is a family favorite in his own family.
What’s your rocky road fudge? What is your family recipe that is home in your mouth? That morsel that the second you eat it, all the feelings of love, deliciousness and family tradition flash into your mind like a warm blanket on a winter’s night? When Rockwood told this story at RootsTech last February in his keynote address, several recipes popped into my head. Rockwood gave us the chance to share with our neighbor – a fellow journalist whom I had never met. We swapped favorites without hesitation. I immediately talked about olikooken, a dutch donut recipe brought to the Americas by great grandmother’s family from Holland. I described the smell and the feelings around the time of year that we make it – Christmas. My partner talked about a chicken salad her grandma had made. Before we knew it, we were talking about our grandmas and how much we loved and missed them. Even though we didn’t know each other before Rockwood’s speech began, we now have this connection from family recipes. So imagine the connection you could feel with family you already know or only know a little – with family recipes. By the way, check out the three cookbooks below that are my all-time favorites. Also, you will be so glad if you get the Bruce Feiler book on Happy Families. Amazing! You can get them on Amazon, or through the Deseret Book which is great because one month is less than the cost of a single book, and you can get a free trial if you click on the photo below.
After Rockwood’s moving address about food stories we sat down and talked more about the theme and the importance of specifics in stories. He talked about how the main theme of the conference was food, specifically family recipes and the reason being that it elicits specific memories, thoughts and questions. What do food and recipes have to do with family history? So much! For me, when I think of food and recipes my mind goes immediately to cooking with both my grandmothers and my own mother – happy times of doing what we love and then eating it! Crispy fried chicken or chicken fried streak from my Grandma Jackson or LBJ cake, meatballs and gravy or Balarney Stones with my Grandma Furniss. My mom, an inventive cook in her own right, made all of these recipes and I have always been eager to help and to watch.
The key isn’t necessarily food, but just specific questions about just about anything. Rockwood suggested that if you just ask someone, “What’s up?” You are going to get a general answer. But if you ask someone something specific like, “What has been your favorite part of the day?” You’re going to get a specific answer.
I learned this when parenting teenagers. When they hopped in the car after school if I ask, “How was your day?” I don’t get much. But if I ask, “Who did you eat lunch with today?” I get a little more substance.
This year FamilySearch has dedicated a whole year to getting people to ask specific questions of themselves and family members with their #52 project. It has intrigued me and made me think. I will admit, I haven’t written down the answers every week, but I have for some and it has been enlightening for me.
After Rockwood’s address, I talked with him more about this concept of recipes and specific questions and it really got my colleague and I thinking. At RootsTech, everyone was challenged to get a family recipe and post it to FamilySearch or at least write it down or do something with it. My colleague and founder of our business, took it one step beyond. She took a family recipe and mended some old wounds with it by inviting her brother over for dinner and cooking up some dumplings. The experience was something special for sure. And because of it – a new tradition was added. The dumplings will be forever called “ducklings” because that’s what her darling 3-year-old renamed them.
For me, cooking is such a part of my family on every level. Because of the example of my grandmothers and mother, I rarely make a meal by myself. I gather around whatever kids are in the house and we work together. We often pump up some music (I try to educate my children on the wonderful nuances of everything eighties) as we cook. I have to say it is one of the little things I enjoy most and really brings me some of my greatest joys. I am deeply grateful that my extended family had the foresight to put a couple of family cookbooks together over the years because that is where a bulk of cooking repertoire comes from and it shows. When Rockwood talked about family recipes, my mind immediately went to my tattered and torn Furniss and Morris Family cookbooks.
And might I suggest, if your family doesn’t have one, make one! It is the perfect kind of family history and it also doubles to create something delicious. One of the things I love are the descriptions some of my witty family members make about the recipes. It makes me know them and my kids too. More than once I have caught my children laughing as they read the recipes and it delights me. My Aunt Randy was a fabulous cook and passed away in a car crash when she was much too young. Her recipes are full of her witty sense of humor and now my kids know her because of it.
And if you don’t have a family cookbook, there are plenty of delightful and family-friendly cookbooks out there. I love to sit and read cookbooks with my kids and mark the pages of recipes we will make together. Our Best Bites by Sara Wells and Kate Jones is one of our family favorites along with the Six Sisters series. I love these recipe books because they are conversational and often tell me why they love the recipe. I get a little of their story, which gives it more meaning for me. Our Best Bites meatball soup and Mexican-style shredded pork have become Trotter family staples in our home.
My Aunt Connee is working on a project to frame some of her mother’s most delicious recipes with the recipes written in her mother’s hand and giving them to each of her children. She remembers cooking alongside her mom and even watching her pen the recipes – in beautiful handwriting no less.
So now that I have shared a few recipe, cooking and food ideas – what have you got? Have you started looking for old recipes?
Here are a few questions to get your creative juices flowing:
- What is your favorite family recipe and why?
- Whose recipe is it?
- Did you make it with this person?
- What did it smell like?
- What does it taste like?
- How long has it been in your family?
- What’s the best part about the recipe? Making it? Eating it? Both? Why?
- When is the last time you ate it?
- Did the person hand-write the recipe? Where is the recipe now?
What I loved about my chat with Rockwood was how he suggested that recipes are only the beginning – there are countless topics that can elicit family memories. And for Rockwood and the team at FamilySearch – that’s how they have turned on millions to finding their ancestors – through the stories!
Rockwood said that for so many years, RootsTech attracted those interested in the nuts and bolts of family history – very important of course – but they knew there was more, so much more. So the idea of story came about and RootsTech literally blew up. People love family stories. Rockwood suggested that people ask those specific questions – about music, sports, heritage, vacations and see where things go. “You start small with those specific questions and before you know it you have a whole novel. But it started with one question,” Rockwood said. And a question that untaps the heart, he added.
What will untap your heart or the heart of a family member? Over the next few weeks we will explore some subjects that have untapped our hearts and caused stories to spill out. To learn more about the power of family history in your life, click here. Please join us! Write down your recipes – tell your stories. Submit them to FamilySearch or just share them with your family my email, social media or however you like to share. Create a delicious memory today. We would love to hear about it too if you would like to share.
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